He Could be Useful
by Sun.x.Goddess
Summary: Shino is called down for a mission, to save Naruto from the Akatsuki, but what will happen to him?
1. Sasuke Is Boring

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto; if I did Sasuke wouldn't be such a n00b. I also don't own some lines that may be said in this story.**

X

"Shino…I have something to confess..." Konan stated. Shino threw a questioning glance over to her. "I…I lo…"

"…Go on…" Shino prompted

"Uhh… PEIN, I MEAN, LEADER-SAMA WANTS TO SEE YOU!" Konan suddenly blurted out.

"…Go on…" Shino prompted.

"Um… that was it…?" Konan muttered, sliding away slowly.

"She didn't have to yell." Shino stated then went to see the leader.

X

**Okay, so you are probably wondering how Shino and Konan are in the same place, well so am I so lets read on to find out…**

…

**Oh! I am the author. Well fine then, I will write the story. Let's start with a flashback.**

X

"Shino." Tsunade addressed. "I know things have been hectic what with Sasuke returning in exchange for Naruto and all, but," Tsunade paused to drink her sake, "I have a special mission for you."

"What is it, Tsunade-sama?" Shino questioned.

"Well, I have decided Naruto could in fact be useful to the village so I want him back. Since you are one of the strongest and most disposable ninja in Konoha, it is your job to bring Naruto back no matter what the cost is to your own health."

"Anything for the village, Hokage-sama, what is his current position?"

"I hear Orochimaru traded him to the Akatsuki for Itachi's pants."

"Umm… Okay. So all I have to do is find out where their hideout is and bring Naruto back no matter what the cost is to my own personal heath?"

"Exactly," Tsunade took a big gulp of her sake, then shook it. "Shizune! Bring me more sake!"

Shino decided this was a good a time as any to start the mission.

The simplest way to find out where the hideout was to ask around the village hoping someone had been there, Sakura or Kakashi was his best bet.

So Shino walked to Ichiraku's. Sakura was usually there waiting for Sasuke to finish training.

As soon as Shino saw I glimpse of pink he knew he was right. "Yo." He greeted. Sakura turned around with hope in her eyes, when she saw Shino her expression died.

"Oh. Hi." She said.

"So… Do you know where the Akatsuki hideout is?" Shino asked, breaking the awkward three seconds of silence.

"Yeah." Sakura replied full of emptiness.

"Can you tell me?"

"I can."

"Will you?"

"You can obviously see I am busy waiting for Sasuke! Why do you keep bothering me?!" Whoa. When Naruto left, Sakura didn't have anyone to vent out all her anger on.

"Sorry, I will go ask Kakashi-sensei."

So that is exactly what Shino did. To his luck Kakashi even showed him where exactly the door was and opened it for him, with the help of his nin-dogs of course.

"Thanks Kakashi-sensei, you did more that enough."

"Anything for Naruto, I miss his eagerness. Sasuke is boring and does what I tell him." With that Kakashi left Shino to finish his mission.

X

Shino slowly advanced into the dark room, he looked down at his feet to be sure there weren't any traps, but not looking ahead of him he bumped into someone.

"Hey! Watch where you're going, Hey! Wait you aren't part of Akatsuki! I assume you've come to join?" A girl with blue hair stated.

"Actually no. I've come to get my friend Naruto Uzumaki, the jinchuuriki." Shino stated.

"Well! I'm not going to give him to you free!" The girl exclaimed.

"Name your price."

"You." Shino stood in shock.

"Come again?" He said.

"I said 'You'. Are you deaf? We will give 'Naruto' back to your village if you join Akatsuki."

"Umm…" Shino thought for a moment, then Tsunade's order rang in his ears. _'It is your job to bring Naruto back no matter what the cost is to your personal health.'_

"Okay. I will join."

"Really?" The girl said, genuinely surprised, "Okay I will introduce you to Pein. Naruto you are free to go." Naruto, who appeared out of seemingly nowhere, ran as fast as he could out of there, he didn't even look back.

"Who's Pein?" Shino questioned.

"Leader-sama." She corrected herself.

"Umm… what's your name?" Shino said curiously.

"Konan. And yours, newbie?"

"Aburame, Shino Aburame," declared Shino, whipping off his sunglasses in a James Bond-like fashion.

"Aburaume? Your bugs could be useful," Konan commented, ignoring his lame OOC moment.

Shino and Konan walked into a large room with two black leather sofas, a flat screen television, and something that looked like a throne, on that throne sat a youngish man with orange hair and many piercings.

"Pein." Konan addressed.

"Leader-sama…" he corrected with a hint of anger in his voice.

"Right. Leader-sama. Anyway, this is our new member, Shino. I traded the jinchuuriki for him." Konan said, looking somewhat proud of herself.

"And when do you make these kinds of decisions? You do know the jinchuuriki is somewhat important to my goal of becoming a god." Pein questioned looking angered.

"Well… He is of the Aburaume clan… So I thought he could be useful… with his bugs and all…" Konan stuttered, ignoring Pein's last comment.

"No… You thought he was cute. I know you, and once you see a cute guy you will give anything to be with him." Pein retorted.

"Nii-san! That's not true! I simply thought he could be useful!" Konan screamed.

'Nii-san?' Shino thought.

"It's Leader-sama! And how do you know he could be useful, what if he doesn't know how to control his bugs yet?" Pein said standing up.

"Whatever! I think we should give him a bit of a chance! Don't you agree, NII-SAN?" Konan said emphasizing the nii-san.

Pein took a deep breath, there was no use arguing with this brat. "Okay. Show him to Orochimaru's old room, but I will most likely kill him in the morning."

"Really!? Oh, Thank-you, thank-you, nii-san!" Konan ran up to Pein and gave him a big bear hug.

"Leader-sama..." Pein said not at all pleased with any of this, especially the hug.

"Right! Leader-sama! You won't regret this!" Konan grabbed Shino's hand then pulled him upstairs.

X

**Okay, that was totally random, BTW, I am totally prepared for flames but I don't really want them, so keep that in mind.**

**And if you are wondering Konan is 19 in this story, Shino is 18, and pein is 30-something.**


	2. Shino the Model

**Wah! No reviews! Oh well, not like I care, this story was simply some laughs for me to write, so on with chapter two.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, If I did Tobi wouldn't be a Uchiha. I also don't own some lines that may be said in this story.**

X

Konan dragged Shino up the stairs, down a hallway, down another hallway, and then she stopped in front of a purple and black door.

Konan took a deep breath, "Are you ready?" She asked.

"I guess so," Shino answered, unsure of what she meant.

"Here goes nothing." Konan opened Orochimaru's old bedroom door. The sight was truly horrifying. The room was all purple, the walls, the carpet, the dresser, the bed, everything, and there was more, the walls were covered with posters, The Backstreet Boys, N'Sync, 98 degrees, even The Sound Shinobi, but the worst has yet to come, there were plushies! Everywhere, most of them were Itachi dolls, and there were a few of Pein and Kisame.

"Um… You want to sleep in my bedroom?" Konan asked while kicking him, since he had apparently fainted due to… well, creepiness.

"I'll take your silence as a yes." She said while dragging him by the foot to her room a few doors down. Konan threw Shino onto the bed and started slapping him.

"P-purp-ple… ba-ack-kstr-eet b-boys… I-itach-chi… n-nsyn-c-c… n-nin-net-y-eig-ght deg-ggree-s… AHHHH!!!!" Shino screamed and ran into the bathroom and assumed the fetal position.

"Hmmm… I wonder what's on television…" Konan wondered as she sat down on her bed and started flipping thorough the channels, "Ooh… Criss Angel! He's kind of cute… Oh! The movie channel is playing Pirates of the Caribbean… Must… Watch… Johnny… Depp…" Just as Konan changed the channel to Johnny Depp Shino came running in dripping with sweat.

"Why… Didn't… You… Tell… Me… You… Had… A… Giant… Plant… Living… Here…" Shino gasped.

"It didn't come up." Konan stated while gazing at the screen.

"He tried to eat me!!!" Shino burst out. Konan shrugged and kept watching the screen.

"Is that Pirates of the Caribbean? Your brother was right, you really do like cute guys." Shino said. This was when Konan turned the television off to stare at him.

"Brother?" She questioned.

"Leader-sama, You called him 'nii-san'"

"Oh. That. He isn't my real brother." Konan stated.

"Really? Why did you call him nii-san?"

"Habit, I guess," Shino threw her a questioning glance. "When I was five a huge war broke out in the hidden rain village, so many people died, my parents included. I wandered around the rubble helpless for days," Konan looked down for a moment, then she looked back up with a smile on her face, "Then Pein found me, he was eleven years older than me, he took care of me, I always thought of him as the big brother I never had. For years we traveled together, he taught me basic nin-jutsu and tai-jutsu. Then we found a few others to travel with, Kisame and Zetsu. Nii-san told me to start calling him Pein in front of Kisame and Zetsu, he wanted to look tougher in front of the them and he couldn't do that if he had a baby sister to look after, so I started calling him Pein, but then he met up with Kakuzu and Hidan, they were merciless killers, you see, and at only nineteen years old, Pein thought that was pretty cool and aspired to be like them." Konan looked down again. "Eventually, Pein became stronger and more merciless than them, so he told me to start calling him Leader-sama in public, then we met up with Itachi, Sasori, and Orochimaru," Konan shuddered at the last name, "then he told me never to call him nii-san or Pein again. It just warms my heart to call him nii-san," Konan looked up with a smile on her face, but then her expression change to anger, "but then he breaks it when he tells me it's 'Leader-sama,'" She said Leader-sama with a mocking tone to her voice. Then Konan turned all quiet again, "I j-just… wish he would call me his 'imouto' again…" Konan burst into tears then and threw her arms around Shino.

"Shh…Shhh…. It's alright…" Shino comforted her while patting her on the back, "If it makes you feel any better I don't even have a back story." They sat there in a comfortable silence for about ten minutes, and then Konan broke it.

"Hey," Konan sniffed, "Do you realize that you still need an Akatsuki cloak?"

"What's wrong with my cloak?" Shino said being somewhat offended, "I thought the hood was cool," Shino started sounding self-conscious.

"Oh! Don't worry, it's plenty cool! You just need the Akatsuki one; we can get it customized if you want." Konan assured him.

"Oh, could you?!"

"Yeah."

"Really?!"

"I just said yeah…"

"You're not kidding?!"

"Um…I believe we went over this, you can get a custom cloak." Konan said, a little weirded out.

"Well then what are we waiting for?" Shino ran out of the door only to come back a ew minutes later, "Um… Where do I go?" He asked.

Konan sighed, "Follow me," The she dragged him up some stairs, up an elevator, up some more stairs, down a couple of hallways, then up the elevator again. Shino was awestruck by the sight that lay before him, rows upon rows of Akatsuki trench coats, and with hoods too! Shino was about to burst out into tears of joy, but instead he had to be sensible.

"Uhh… Why do you have this many hooded trench coats?" Konan shrugged, sometimes things are better left unanswered.

"Okay." Shino said, then he left to go running down the aisles for about half an hour, when he came back he was fully clothed in Akatsuki gear. He strutted up to Konan and he stopped about two feet away from her and then his hair started blowing in non-existent wind.

"Umm… Okay, do you want to train with me?" Konan asked, a little creeped out by Shino's model impersonation.

"Yes, training is essential for a shinobi to do," Shino said, back to his normal self.

X

"Okay, lets practice taijutsu, since that's my weak point." Konan said, "Try coming at me." And that is exactly what Shino did, he hit Konan once in the abdomen, and twice in the head, it angered her that he could get even one shot in, so she stepped it up a notch, and, well, the next thing Shino saw was black.

"That'll teach you to hit a girl." Konan said, then yawned, "I think it's time to go to bed," Konan tried dragging Shino to her room, but her stomach and head hurt too much, Shino hit her harder than she thought. Konan decided she would call Pein for help.

She took a deep breath, "PEIN!!" She called, but suddenly she felt dizzy, and the next thing she saw was black.

Pein came running once he heard that scream, but once he came to the scene he only smiled, Konan had just trained too hard again, always trying to impress him. Pein picked her and Shino up and carried them to Konan's room.

Pein tucked Konan in and gave her a kiss on the forehead, "Goodnight imouto, try not to overwork yourself next time." Then he laid Shino next to her and said, "Good work, sleep well, and don't forget, I will most likely kill you in the morning."

X

**There it is, Chapter two, I didn't get any reviews for last chapter but I am hoping this one will be different hint, hint Oh, and once again I am totally prepared for flames, but I don't want them, so keep that in mind.**

**NOTE: Konan's story didn't really happen, Pein didn't actually take care of her, I know that so please don't get mad at me.**


	3. The Rabid Boar

**Sorry everyone who cares, my internet's been down, so I couldn't update in a while, well here it is chapter 3.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Naruto, if I did Naruto would know who his parents were. I also don't own some lines that may be said in this story.**

**Warning: This chapter makes about as much sense as a kumquat in a toaster.**

X

Konan woke up in the middle of the night with something warm around her waist. 'It's a person.' She thought without opening her eyes.

"Squeee!!" She heard it squeal, she looked up.

"It's a rabid boar." Konan said, unusually calm considering the situation she was in.

"Did you say something?" Asked Shino who was on the other side of Konan, opposite the boar, "I thought I heard something squeal."

Konan quickly punched the boar, which kicked back and knocked her over to Shino's side of the bed, and then Konan threw a paper airplane at it, it squealed and ran away.

"It was a rabid boar, wasn't it?" Shino asked, nonchalantly. Konan nodded. They were still unusually calm.

"Yeah… I hate when that happens."

"Same, I'm going back to bed." Konan said before falling asleep. She completely forgot where she was laying. Shino went to bed a few minutes later, he noticed where she was laying but he didn't want to wake up someone who could scare away a rabid boar.

X

Zetsu woke up early, he wanted to get into Konan's room while she was still sleeping, and he also needed to beat Leader-sama there. He always adjusted to Zetsu's eating habits and stopped him before he could munch on the tasty person.

Zetsu walked down the numerous amounts of hallways and stopped in front of Konan's large door. Zetsu slowly turned the knob, he half-expected Leader-sama to be standing there to tell him to do some absurd mission.

Zetsu was ecstatic at what he saw; the newbie's arms were around Konan's waist! Leader-sama was going to kill him! Then Zetsu could eat him after he was done!

Zetsu quickly left the room to go squeal in his own.

X

Pein had to get up early in the morning, 'Damn that Zetsu and his eating habits!' He thought. 'Well I'd better go see if Konan is still alive,'

Pein walked to the next room, which conveniently was Konan's. He slowly turned the knob, to build suspense, what he saw made him want to live up to his word.

"NEWBIE!!!! I WIL KILL YOU!!! DON'T YOU DARE TOUCH MY IMOUTO!!!" Pein shrieked before pinning Shino up against the wall.

"Huh…?" Shino said. He was still a little groggy from sleep, "…what did I do now…?" He asked.

"You tried to make a move on Konan-chan! Didn't you!!?" Whoa. Pein needs anger management classes.

Konan was crying on the bed, not because Shino was hurt, not because Pein was screaming, not because they were fighting each other, and not because Pein finally called her his 'Imouto', but because poor little Maria was about to die from leukemia in the soap opera she was watching.

"No!!" Konan cried. Pein stopped fighting abruptly.

"No, Imouto, don't cry, I didn't mean to scream… Please stop crying." Pein consoled.

"Konan, your brother's a freak, why did he pounce on me like that?… Hey are you crying? Did one of my bugs bite you? I guess I'm somewhat sorry if they did." Shino… umm… he just said it, and not in a very consoling kind of voice.

"Not Maria!! She was so young!! So full of youth!!" Konan sobbed, then Lee and Gai randomly showed up and screamed youth a few times then they ran off into the sunset. "Why couldn't it have been Victor?! He was so old and… And, well, not full of youth!" Konan threw her arms around Shino.

"Oh. I see Konan, well I guess you are old enough to have a boyfriend. I understand I have been too over-protective. See you at breakfast." Pein said, and then sulked away.

Konan and Shino looked around, confused. "Did he say something?" They said simultaneously.

Shino and Konan continued to watch the soap opera; Konan didn't cry anymore, the only other people who died were Victor and Edwin.

"Hey, you need to meet the rest of the members." Konan said.

"Of what?" Shino asked, he forgot that this was an organization and not just a hotel.

"The Akatsuki of course!" Konan said, then took his hand and dragged him into various rooms.

X

"Okay Shino, we are about to enter Itachi Uchiha's room. Brace yourself." Konan warned.

"Is this going to be like Orochimaru's room?" Shino questioned.

"Oh, heavens no! This will be very different."

"Okay." Shino felt assured.

Konan opened the door. It would have been a normal room if there weren't letters covering all the furniture. Shino picked one up and read it out loud.

"'Dear Itachi, I swear I will kill you, because I am an avenger and that is what I do. I was crying the night you killed the entire clan and I will never forgive you for it! I will kill you for betraying our trust! Love, Sasuke.' Wow. So you are the infamous Itachi Uchiha who killed his entire clan, pleasure." Shino stuck out his hand waiting for a handshake, it never came. Itachi wasn't paying attention to the two that just entered his room, he was busy writing letters.

Itachi crumpled up the letter he was currently writing and aimed for the wastebasket, he hit Shino's face instead. Shino picked up the letter that fell on the ground and then he read it out loud.

"'Dear Foolish Little Brother/Sasuke, I regret, no, wait, I don't regret the actions I have done, but I guess I am somewhat sorry you feel sad about it, I don't see why considering that our parents always favored me over you because I graduated from the academy at a very young age…'"

"No, not right… Not right…" Itachi was muttering to himself while starting to write a new letter.

"Okay Itachi, we'll leave you to your letters." Konan said that as if she was talking to a patient in a mental institution. "C'mon Shino lets blow this pop stand."

"Umm… Sure?" Shino replied, not like his opinion mattered, Konan dragged him off anyway.

"So…" Shino said breaking the silence, "That was a little creepy." Konan didn't say anything.

"I want to know where you are taking me." Konan slowed to a walk, she slowly pointed at the door in front of them, creepy music began to play, and then it abruptly stopped.

"Zetsu's," She said, Shino stood looking at the room in horror.

X

**Hehe. People, don't get mad at me for the overdose on randomness, and don't get mad about Itachi's obsession with writing the perfect letter, He is only like that for the purpose of my story, I don't actually hate him. The only one I hate is Sasuke.**

**So anywayz, review! Remember I am totally prepared for flames, but I don't really want them, so keep that in mind.**

**Okayz, Well, to continue this story, I need atleast 4 reviews, SO PLEEAASSEEEE REVIEW! **


	4. The Art Room

**Hey peoples I'm back! Well, as it turns out you gave me more than 4 reviews. You gave me 5! And as a special treat, you get a longer than average chapter! Yay!**

**-chirp-chirp-**

**Ahem, anyway, enjoy!**

**Disclaimer: I do not own Naruto, If I did, I'd get him to change his outfit. I also don't own some lines that may be said in this story.**

**X**

Konan knocked on the moss covered door, hoping she wouldn't get an answer,answer; she started to back off slowly. No such luck, Zetsu answered alright.

"Leader-sama? Is that you? Is breakfast ready? You know what sounds good right now? A nice serving of―" Zetsu said while opening the door, but his eyes then focused on Shino and Konan. "**Newbie! Why aren't you dead?!**"

Shino shrugged, "Luck. I guess."

"Well I'd say** you just ran out of it!**" The talking plant then lunged towards Shino, opening his jaw as wide as he could, then he took a huge bite of Shino's head. Or at least what he thought was Shino's head, Shino exploded into a coa untless number of tiny black insects, and the real Shino appeared behind Zetsu gripping a kunai to his throat.

"Not quite." Shino said., Aand as he was about to slice the venus fly trap's throat, Konan spoke up.

"You know if you kill him, Pein will kick your ass." Konan stated, inspecting her nails.

"**She's right you know, would you really want to end up dead?**" Zetsu asked in a raspy, somewhat creepy tone.

"What are you talking about? I'd end up dead anyway! You were trying to kill me, remember?" Shino spat back.

"**Were? **I believe **I am.**" Zetsu grabbed hold of the kunai, then took Shino's arm and held it behind his back. "Now, before **I kill you,** any words you wish to say?" Zetsu asked.

"Actually I have a word," Konan said, while leaning against a vine covered wall, twirling a lock of blue hair around her finger. "Shino and I need to meet the other members of Akatsuki, then we have to eat, then we have to train, then possibly we might go on a mission. I spent time planning this, so I would appreciate it if Shino would not end up dead before all of this. That really screws it all up."

"**Oh.** terribly sorry, but maybe **tomorrow.**" Zetsu said.

Konan, then dragged a disoriented Shino out of the garden-like room, then slammed the door shut.

"Yeah right, I highly doubt we're even going to be here tomorrow." Konan smirked.

"Huh? Why not?" Shino asked, with a somewhat slurred tone added to his voice.

"Weren't you paying attention when I was talking about our busy schedule?" Then Konan muttered something along the lines of leaf ninja being stupid or something.

"We're going on a mission. We're likely to be leaving tonight. But that's only if we get a move on! We have to meet Sasori and Deidara!" Konan started dragging Shino down the hall by his ear.

Konan took a right from Zetsu's room, and then she took another two lefts. Konan put her ear to the door in order to hear what the pair was saying.

"No, I'm telling you! Art is beautiful, but beauty only lasts a moment, un!" One of the voices said.

"I agree with you that art is beautiful, it is. But it can last for lifetimes! Like my puppets for example." A slightly raspier voice argued.

Konan opened the door. Shino was shocked at what he saw. So much art supplies, he had never seen so much, not even at the art store in Konoha. Here, there was boxes upon boxed of just blocks of wood, but that was just one side of the room. The other side had mounds of clay, and what appeared to be… Bombs? But there were paint brushes, and an easel, but all that was just scattered in the center of the room, kind of like a dividing line.

"Morning Dei-kun, Sasori-kun." Konan said happily, not at all fazed by their odd room.

"Morning Konan-chan." They said in unison, abruptly stopping their argument.

"So Konan-chan, what brings you here on this fine morning?" Deidara said standing up, "a flower for the lady," he said, handing her a clay flower before continuing his sentence. "And, who is this?" Deidara said directing his gaze towards Shino, with a slight angry tone to his voice.

"Sorry, Dei-kun! This is Shino Aburame. Shino, this is Deidara… Deidara and Sasori."

"Pleasure." Shino greeted sticking out his hand, but instead Deidara poked him in the chest.

"That's what they all say. Then they get C4 shoved down their throat, un!" Deidara threatened, holding up a clay figurine threateningly.

"I don't get it. What did I say?" Shino said innocently.

"Oh, don't mind him, he's just jealous that you're spending a lot of time with Konan-chan." Said a raspy voiced Sasori.

Shino squinted his eyes. "And are you a person… or a pokemon… or what?" Shino asked.

Sasori glanced at his body. "Oh, it appears I'm still wearing Hiruko." 'Sasori's' back popped open, and out climbed a young man with red hair.

"Oh my god, You're Gaara of the Desert!" Shino exclaimed pointing accursedly at Sasori.

"Actually, no. But I am from the sand. It is a pleasure to meet you, Shino." Sasori shook Shino's already outstretched hand.

"Sasori-kun! You're not ugly anymore! Thank the heavens!" Konan squealed and glomped Sasori.

"My, my, Sasori-danna, it seems you've finally took off that ugly thing you call art, un." Deidara stated standing up straighter, but then he got up to whisper in Sasori's ear, "But I suggest you put it back on before Konan-chan turns on me, un."

"Oh, give it up Deidara. She probably already thinks you're a pervert. You've got freaking mouths on your hands!" Sasori whispered/yelled back.

"Are you boys talking about me? Am I just that irresistible?" Konan asked peering behind the two.

"I-uh-umm…" Deidara started, but Shino interrupted him.

"Oh, stop being so full of yourself, Blue. Besides, who would want to talk about you?"

"B-blue?" Konan asked, on the verge of crying, but she decided that it was better not to let her emotions get the better of her.

"Yeah, Blue. You call me Newbie, so I decided I might as well give you a nickname as well." Replied Shino, non-chalantly.

"Well, um, Shino. You can just go and meet the rest of the members; Hidan, Kakuzu, Kisame, and you can meet Tobi too, he's not really a member, but who cares. I'm going to stay here with people who actually like me until breakfast is ready, I guess I'll meet you down there."

"Really screwed up there, didn't you, Newbie?" Deidara spat out at Shino as he held Konan in his arms.

**X**

**There it is, chappie 4. Personally, I didn't think it was that funny. It wasn't that long either, but it took me forever to think of this alone so, yeah, this is all that there is going to be in this chapter.**

**So, I've decided that Deidara would like Konan. I mean it makes sense if you think about it. Konan likes cute boys and Deidara likes… Well I imagine he likes spunky girls.**

**And remember that this is a crack story, so ages are screwed up, some people who are dead have come back to life, but that's just how fanfiction goes, so if you don't like it, don't read it.**

**Ages: Shino: 18, Konan: 19, Pein: 30, Zetsu: 28, Itachi: 20, Deidara: 19, Sasori: 24, Kisame: 28, Hidan: Only god knows, Kakuzu: Again, Only God knows.**

**I think that's it! Review! And no flames.**


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